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20121201
20121231
Search Results 0 to 40 of about 41 (some duplicates have been removed)
tonight with america. it's great! and republicans in the united states senate think it's about time america cafta, side it's famed humility and let the world see the awesomeness that is us. >> the nation and the world need strong american leadership. >> we need to continue to lead the world. >> we wanted our example to inspire the people of the earth. >> they're waiting for america to lead the way. >> we are as a nation a beacon of hope for many across the globe. >> we've created a beacon of hope and opportunity for the rest of the world. >> jon: a beacon of hope. a home beacon, a-- come on, world! follow our leadership. did you hear me, world? come on, follow! ( laughter ) don't make me send in the ( bleep ) drones. get behind us. come on! ( laughter ) i will rain down hellfire! ( laughter ) actually this week presented america with just that kind of leadership opportunity. >> there's a senate vote tomorrow on a united nations disabilities treaty. >> advocates say the united nations treaty approved by 126 countries, would promote equal rights and better treatment for the disabled
] love america! - [crying] [typewriter clacking] [ding!] from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the "daily show" with jon stewart ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome to the "daily show." what a good one we have for you tonight. my name is jon stewart. our guest tonight, alan simpson-- one-third of the singing trio "ashford and simpson and bowles" ( laughter ) you should not get their album. they're not very good. let's begin tonight with america. it's great! and republicans in the united states senate think it's about time america cafta, side it's famed humility and let the world see the awesomeness that is us. >> the nation and the world need strong american leadership. >> we need to continue to lead the world. >> we wanted our example to inspire the people of the earth. >> they're waiting for america to lead the way. >> we are as a nation a beacon of hope for many across the globe. >> we've created a beacon of hope and opportunity for the rest of the world. >> jon: a beacon of hope. a home beacon, a-- come on, world! follow our leadership. did you he
supposed to do? turn the other cheek. oh, oh, no, wrong jesus, my friend. >> there is a problem in america with the christian forces being weak. >> that's right. i'm telling you, bill, wimpy pastors produce wimpy christians. >> they see jesus as this little wimpy guy who walked around plucking daises and eating birdseed. [laughter] >> jon: plucking daises and eating birdseed? i think you're thinking of russell brand. it's a common mistake. to think of him. no, the truth is i think even most non-christens don't particularly care that for about 10% of every year the public sphere is dominated by this one particular religious celebration in the same way christian don't care that people say happy holidays and seasons greetings because you don't always know the religion of the person you're greeting. merry christmas and they say back to you [inaudible]. so you don't know. so what are these atheist bullies want? i'm assuming a dictatorship of godlessness. >> we're stopping the government from preferring one religion over another. >> we demand equality from the government and it's our constitutio
love twinkies, sorry, brace yourself for this one. time has run out for america's iconic baking company. >> after 82 years, hostess is shutting down following a bankruptcy filing. >> no more twinkies, no more ho-hoes, no more sno balls. >> jon: no more ring dings, no more ding-dongs, no more dong rings. (laughter and applause) oh, my god, that's not cream. (audience reacts) hostess will -- it's jelly. (laughter) (sighs) hostess will be no more! oh, no! where will i go now for my stomach aches and self-medication? where will i get the crap to fill the bottomless pit in me that will never be filled. boxed wine? arby's? i'm not going back there! (laughter) what could have destroyed this beloved american diabetes dispensary. >> it's the unions that really did it in because they would not allow hostess to operate efficiently. >> hostess, which was forced to close its doors due to union demands, they couldn't afford to stay in business during a long worker strike. >> the union preferred killing the company to accepting what they thought was a bad deal. >> jon: unions! you've got to imagine gi
of a cup of coffee, we found out you can sponsor the iranian ice dancing team. death to america. good night. [cheers and applause] >> from cod news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." [cheering and applause] [theme music playing] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. we have a good one for you tonight. newark mayor cory booker will be joining us, but let's begin tonight as i really should begin almost every night, with an apology. we've had a bit of fun here over the years concerning what is commonly referred to this time of year as the war on christmas where a small band of 70% of the country have fought tirelessly for the right to openly celebrate the feast day of their lord's birth, to have a mass on that day honoring their christ, a mass christ, if you will. [laughter] now, we have poked fun at this, saying such things as, there is no war on christmas or you're [bleeped] crazy. [laughter] classic wit. that was before i realized what these poor folks have been going through. >> this is the thing about atheists, they bully other reli
zj8"w7see >> jon: welcome back. now journalism may be suffering in america but in most america it's flour shalling. wyatt cenac has more in this, his final report. >> reporter: in puerto rico the most popular television show is called superxlucido starring la comai and it's a a news program. in fact, this juggernaut gets 40% of the puerto rican audience and crushes most other major news networks in the state. though i traveled to san juan to learn their secret. >>> is it just me or is there a weird monster lady right there? >> no, she is a journalist. >> she's a journalist. >> yes, she is. this is like the famous. >> i came here to talk to puerto rico's most trusted journalist. >> yes, people get if yous from me. >> this is a puppet. >> it's a lady. >> i don't understand how your journalists. >> because we do investigations all the time. this is watt world will be within 50 years from now. >> men and foam women. >> that's right. >> we are the future of the world. >> all right, you know what, i'm out? i'm out, i'm out. >> hey, wyatt, thank you, good-bye. >> hey, wyatt. >> this h
. with the tax rate being the lowest in america since the 1950s, most likely we'll raise the tax for the up 2er% at some point, right? >> raising tax rates is unacceptable. >> jon: okay. so what exactly is your idea of the a negotiation? >> the president's idea of a negotiation is "roll over and do what i ask." (laughter) >> jon: at least once he has you on your back he asks. (laughter) i can't wait till -- (applause) they're applauding the lack of rape. (laughter) (applause) now they're just mimicking me. (laughter) (laughter) i cannot wait until the democrats get ahold of this republican proposal. they are going to tear it to shreds. >> the good news is they put something in writing. the bad news is it doesn't really get us in the moving -- moving forward. >> the republican plan failed the very first test of fairness. >> unfortunately, the speaker's proposal right now is still out of balance. (laughter) >> jon: "out of balance"? where's your hysterical rhetoric. where's your "i laughed in their (bleep)ing faces!" where is your "disappointed!" where is your "this proposal is an insult! this pr
. welcome back. you know, in the weeks leading up to the recent election america's business leaders offered some dired predictions. >> four more year of obama will mean that we're going to have to tighten our belts even further, layoff more feel. >> these people just want to work in honor and dignity and this president is desaing that. we're going cancel their health care. >> i cannot pay my staff and pay all these taxes. there is only so much blood you can get out of a turnip. (laughter) >> jon: i don't think you can get any blood out of a turnip unless-- oh my god, those weren't turn is, oh. some business owners were explicit that an obama re-election would in their eyes doom their blood turnip businesses. but now that obama has been re-elected how have the john creators amongst us reacted. we turn to our deranged billionaire, john hodgman, john. >> oh, how dare you. >> jon: what. >> how dare you applaud me now after you shiftless moochers rejected everything that is good and right and wealthy in this world. >> jon: you're still up set that mitt romney lost. >> i don't know how, i don't u
america! well, don't think we won't detect your call center accents, india n.a. how are michigan's union members takintaking this news? >> prounion protesters are swarming the capital building in lancing. >> hey, hey, ho, ho, right to work has got to go. >> union busting is disgusting! (laughter). >> jon: dude, you're from michigan, detroit, "8 mile." you've got to come up with better rhymes that busting-disgusting if you want to win the khraoe climactic rap. you have to put effort into it. (laughter) (cheers and applause) look, you have one job at one factory, when you seize every benefit you could, yo, our palms are sweaty, knees week, arms heavy, working in a factory all day building chevys, like the volt, you plug it in, and then you win -- ecologically, because if it was an actual race you would not -- actually. you've got to dues collect for the unions oro bahts are going to come and take away our jobs or to the chinese kids with the tiny hands to work and go -- ♪ this of ha tunety comes once in a lifetime note? note yo! (cheers and applause) you know what i realized? if i perfor
game >> it's nfl sunday. it's half time. god bless america is playing in the background. do i really want bob costas giving me a dissertation on the second amendment? i want to watch football >> jon: really? that's when i go take a piss. but okay. yes an nfl half time show is no time to talk about violence in the nfl. it's a time to watch endless slow-motion replays of that today's hardest hits. that was a great hit. yeah, i think the guy's brain came out of his ear hole on that one. sucking it up like a man. of course he'll never be the same again. half time isn't the right time. what about at a press conference? what about at a press conference like after the aurora shooting s when the mayor of new york called for an examination of gun laws? >> the body is not even out of the theater before he started to jump into this debate. i think there is some level of political protocol that you need to have in a tragedy like this where you wait. be quiet for 24 hours at least. >> jon: that's clearly in that situation it's not where it is being discussed but when. i'm assuming that the venue
and in the three months since the attack, legitimate questions of adequate embassy security, americas overall advocacy in fighting the war on terror and the intricate dance between national security confidentiality and the public's right to know have all been distilled down, thrown out and replaced with this one urgent conclusion concerning current u.s. ambassador to united nations susan rice. >> i will do everything in my power to black her from being the united states secretary of state. she's not qualified. >> jon: that's senator john mccain continuing his seven year quest to negate every good thing he'd ever done prior to that. (laughter) this time leading the charge to preempt as an of now hypothetical obama nomination for secretary of state to replace hillary clinton. why? because five days after the benghazi attacks, susan rice went on the sunday talk shows and said this: . >> the best assessment we have today is that in fact this was not a preplanned, premeditated attack. that what happened initially was a spontaneous reaction to what had just transpired in cairo as a consequence of t
Search Results 0 to 40 of about 41 (some duplicates have been removed)